SRK's nightmare!

Shah Rukh Khan is a troubled man. He’s haunted by a recurring nightmare. It begins at a cricket stadium where Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Yuvraj Singh seem to be frantically waving out at him. Then they start blowing kisses! The Pakistani cricketers frown as the game is held up and BCCI officials rush to evict the Bollywood Baadshah. “It’s not me they are blowing kisses at,” protests SRK and points to Deepika Padukone beside him. “It’s her!” Even as Dhoni and Yuvraj start doing somersaults across the ground, Khan is bundled into a waiting car and driven to the airport.

But Shah Rukh soon finds himself in a midair crisis as the flight to Mumbai wobbles violently and passengers reach for their oxygen masks. The reason is not bad weather but the pilot who’s left the cockpit and hangs around the star for tips on building a six-pack! As the aircraft continues to drop altitude dramatically, the passengers open the emergency exit and request him to jump out!

Khan lands safely on the lawn of his villa in Bandra. But his troubles are far from over. For, even before he could ask Gauri what’s for lunch, she sends him to buy a kilo each of beans and ladyfingers. Thus, Shah Rukh steps out of Mannat with a shopping bag. As he walks the street looking for beans and ladyfingers, there are many fingers pointing at him and people frowning at him for stooping down to walking the streets to promote his film!

A vegetable vendor shrugs his shoulders when Shah Rukh asks him the price of beans. “Why do you need beans?” asks the vendor. “You’re full of beans! I see you on TV, newspaper, advertisements - promoting your film!” Shah Rukh tries to ignore him and asks the price of ladyfingers. “It’s gone up,” says the vendor. “But it’s cheaper than what I paid to see your film at a multiplex! And why do you want to eat ladyfingers? Does that make one the sexiest man in Asia?”

Finally, Shah Rukh Khan is so fed up that he covers his face with his hand and walks back home. But that’s when his cell phone rings. It’s Manoj Kumar! “You’re imitating me again,” screams Mr Bharat. “Wasn’t it enough you made fun of me in your movie? Now you’re doing it in real life!”

That’s when Shah Rukh wakes up and heaves a sigh of relief.

Shubha Shetty Saha, dnaindia.com